Searching for Bliss

One man's paradise is another man's nightmare.

Too far

God damn it.

I was so close to death this week. 

One of my best friends lost their partner and lover in life.

This is someone who has lived their life so closeted, 

Not even their closest friends knew they were gay.

So I’ve seen a dead body and I’m helping a friend grieve.

I’ve never really told anyone about how death affects me.

I stay strong for the ones I love.

But what if I’m not strong enough to handle the reality of what I’ve seen?

God fucking damn it.


Happy Tuesday everyone


Do you ever feel connected to aliens?

Cause I do sometimes, and I hope that’s not weird.

Some days I dream I am alien myself,

And there’s a very valid reason why I was left on Earth.

My guardians will come for me soon

And then I can truly tell my story.

Grow up

I feel like I am bursting at the seams.

I feel like I need to go to the past to figure out why I am the way I am.

But is all that even necessary?

I’m tired of reliving the pain. 

I want my future to be the new me, not the old me.

Why can’t I accept my calling and just fucking roll with it?

Signed, the person becoming more Bad Ass, one day at a time.


I’m a watcher. 

I am in this world, but I am not of it.

I feel the pain of every horrible thing I see.

My tears fall not for me, but for others.

I was bamboozled!

“I’m sorry, should I have not brought it up?”

The cringe worthy look on my husband’s face was wrinkled with concern.

“It’s ok,” I said with a wave of my hand. “I don’t mind talking about it.”

I took a deep breath and said, ” I was raised in a religious cult.”

“Hey! Me too!” they said.

Instinctively, I raised my hand. They raised theirs and our two appendages met with a resounding smack.

“Did we just high five about being in cults?” they wondered.

“Fuck yes we did.” I said.