Too far

by Kay Rob

God damn it.

I was so close to death this week. 

One of my best friends lost their partner and lover in life.

This is someone who has lived their life so closeted, 

Not even their closest friends knew they were gay.

So I’ve seen a dead body and I’m helping a friend grieve.

I’ve never really told anyone about how death affects me.

I stay strong for the ones I love.

But what if I’m not strong enough to handle the reality of what I’ve seen?

God fucking damn it.